I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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