Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
