Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
