I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
