I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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