i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
