i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
