ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
