So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
