She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
