i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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