just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
