i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
