so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
