At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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