Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
