i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
