Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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