my mouth tastes like poor choices
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
