Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
