just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
