You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
