i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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