he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
