So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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