Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
