He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
