i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
