he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
