Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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