That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
