Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
