She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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