Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
