I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
