ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
