Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
