By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
