Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
