So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
