Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
