we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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