But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
how do you play pong handcuffed?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
