he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
