There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
