wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
