I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
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