Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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