oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
