Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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