Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
