who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
