shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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